Be Great Today!

… to happiness, fulfillment, making a difference, finding and following your passions and purpose, or… to being completely and utterly miserable?

My wife had to make a stop at the grocery and office supply store the other day.  A little background on my wife:  Sherri has a huge heart and is an active optimist.  What I mean by that is that Sherri chooses to be optimistic each day and makes the extra effort to be polite and cheery with people she encounters throughout her day.

So, Sherri is at the checkout line at each stop and greets each cashier with her brilliant smile and genuine inquiry as to how each individual was doing!  The response was less than reciprocal.  Each cashier made minimal eye contact, mumbled something that was inaudible in response to Sherri’s well-wishes.  These two individuals were committed to being miserable. 

Here are 3 keys to overcoming negative influences and encounters in your life:

1.     Give a smile and a calm, reassuring “Good Day!” well wishes!  The reason for this is that you never know what another person is going thru.  These unhappy souls may be going thru a family or personal crisis or could be dealing with the loss of a loved one, or some other genuine problem or concern, causing their frown or sour attitude.  You just never know what is going on in someone’s life.

2.     Focus on your blessings that life has bestowed upon you, and live in a state of gratitude.  We can’t control how other people act or feel, but we surely can control how we look at and approach the world and this God-given day!

3.     If options 1 and 2 aren’t working, then simply stay away from these people!  At least minimize your contact with the naysayers, if you have to interact with them (i.e. co-workers, family, neighbors, etc.)  If someone is committed to being miserable, guess what… they will surely achieve their objective.  Life is too short to make it your cause to try to turn the committed miserable ones around. 

So, there you have it, three ways to deal with negative people that are inevitably going to be presented to you and me each and every day.   So, please remember to focus on your blessings, live with an attitude of gratitude, stay committed to your course, and …

Have a Great Day!

Can I trust you?  Can you trust me?  Do you trust in yourself and your future?  Stick with me for a few minutes, and allow me to explain how you can quickly and easily gain in the trust of those around… trust in yourself, as well as, become a metal detector of trust.  What I mean by that is you will be able to pick out a trustworthy person and/or organization as quick as a metal detector beeps upon detecting a metal object buried comfortably below the sand on your favorite beach!

            Wikipedia defines trust as, “A relationship of reliance… a prediction of reliance on an action, based on what a party knows about the other party”.  Therefore, by definition, the only way that you can be trusted or give trust is thru repeated exposure or time spent with other people.

How to become a trustworthy person:

            Commit to do the right thing in every area of your life, not just sometimes, but all the time.  Do the right thing when people are watching, and more importantly, do the right thing when people are not watching.

How to be able to identify trustworthy people:

            Very simply, trust is earned over time.  People have reputations for a reason, because over time, they have demonstrated certain qualities.  People with questionable reputations should be viewed thru very objective lenses looking for signs to either back up or refute any prior opinions and reputations.  If people are open and easy to understand, that is a good sign.  If people are a series of unanswered questions, contradictions, and difficult to understand, then beware.

How to trust yourself:

            Let’s start out by saying that a lack of trust in yourself shows a lack of faith.  I believe that God made each of us, and God has faith in us.  Mother Angelica, the founder of Our Lady of the Angel’s Monastery shares in her book, “… constant worry, depression, anxiety, frustration, thinking ‘Nothing’s going to change’ – that is a total, total lack of trust… If you don’t have trust in your life, you have little love, because trust comes from love”.

            Therefore, the best way to trust is to start loving yourself.  Believe in yourself, and daily remind yourself by proclaiming your noble values, strengths, and contributions that you work to give to the world.

            When people prove to be untrustworthy and difficult to understand, they are quickly disregarded.  People who constantly strive to earn the trust and confidence of others, also gain the trust of themselves.  The net result is a life of happiness, love, and meaning! 

 Trustfully Yours!

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage

Over another as to remain always cool and

Unruffled under all circumstances.”

                                                      - Thomas Jefferson

The above quote can be taken as a strategy to overcome an enemy just as much as it can apply to keeping a marriage or a friendship strong.  We need to realize that getting worked up, upset, fired up, or mad at someone, something, or a particular situation is very unproductive and, most of all, damaging to you.  What do I mean?

By losing your cool, you are giving up your personal control.  By getting upset, you are allowing another person or situation control you.  Who in their right mind wants to be controlled?  For example, let’s say you have a controlling or manipulative boss.  If you can stay calm when he or she starts losing control and directing anger at you, the result of your calm behavior will be an emotional victory for you.

There is a fringe benefit to staying calm when others are losing their cool either at or around you.  If you have a friend/boss, or co-worker whose goal is to attack you and make you feel bad, and you respond with a calm, even tempered persona, it will make the attacker look and/or feel very uncomfortable.

Not that you want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or bad, but if you do make someone feel uncomfortable as a result of lashing out at you, they will be less inclined to lash out at you in the future.  Reason for that is, no one intentionally makes themselves feel bad.  We all want to feel good.

Everyone wants to be respected.  Times of trial and tribulation reveal an individual’s character.  When things get tough and you stay calm, that will earn you respect.

Being cool = Being in Control = Respect from peers! 

You see, being cool provides multiple benefits not only to yourself but to the world around you!

Be Cool and Have a Great Day!

Everyone would agree that the ability to communicate is one of the best ways to have a successful, harmonious, peaceful, fulfilled life. 

Did you ever think about… why is the divorce rate so high in our country?  Why is there no confidence in our economy?  Why don’t people trust their employers or each other?

The answer is that people can’t seem to figure out how to communicate.  The simple answer is to put yourself in the shoes of whomever you are attempting to communicate with and ask yourself, “What would I want to know in order to be able to (understand, feel, believe, etc…) what I’m trying to communicate?”  For example…  in my selling career, I have been able to be a top producer at my company because I’m constantly putting myself in my customers shoes and thinking from their point of view.

What I mean is that when I identify a customer that is interested in making a purchase, I take the time to ask the questions necessary to best understand what the customer’s situation is, what they need, why they need it, and when.  Once I have this information, only then can a solution be presented that strikes the chords in my customer’s decision making process to say “yes” to my solutions.  This approach also works perfectly in relationships with loved ones.

Now the “to a point” part… if you have spent days, months, years, and repeated attempts to communicate a message to another person whom you care about and the other party isn’t responding, then they just might not get it, or don’t want to get it.  What I mean is that with some people, they either don’t have the ability or desire to understand what you are trying to share.  So in those cases, it’s best to either move on or limit your contact with that person or party.    

Do the best that you possibly can to understand others, to put yourself in another person’s shoes, then and only then, share your thoughts, ideas, and plans!  If you do this, then when your head hits the pillow each night, you can rest easy knowing that you did all you could to communicate.

 Have a great day!

My 7 year old daughter, Megan, made this brilliant statement this spring as the answer to her fears of doing a reverse summersault on the bar in gym class.  My brilliant little girl instinctually figured out all by herself what most people never realize their entire life.  Megan does wear Nike’s, but I know that she isn’t aware of Nike’s “Just Do It” ad campaign that has been popularized since before she was born. 

Why don’t we all “Just Do It” when it comes to something we are unsure of.  The obvious answer is… FEAR.

If we would just spend the time required to learn whatever we need to learn in order to get whatever we want to get, we could then just go after IT (whatever “IT” is for you) without FEAR.  The end result… we would all be happier, healthier, and have more peace of mind and success.

So, I for one, am going to take Megan’s sage advice and keep on “Just Doing It!”

Peace!

It is very important to be competent, capable, and hard working in order to experience success in your life.  Have you ever noticed how our society associates success (whatever success is for you) as the key to life.  We seem to put a premium on results, the end product, and who gets ahead the most, is viewed as the best.

I believe that there is a more important ingredient to success than just climbing the corporate ladder, amassing a certain income, net worth, toy, or title.  To me, the happiest and most successful people are the ones with character and integrity.

Having a strong character and well, internalized firm value system is the real key to happiness and success in this world!  My high school basketball coach is one of the “wealthiest” people I know.  I’m not talking about monetary wealth.  This kind of wealth is priceless, yet costs no actual dollars. 

Coach always had and continues to have bedrock strong values.  Coach stands for something: which is working hard, never backing down from a challenge, and doing the right thing every time, not just when it is convenient.  The final value is called integrity.  The payout for this kind of wealth is unconditional love and respect from those whom Coach knows and interacts with.

I learned many lessons from Coach during my years playing basketball for him, but most of all I learned the importance of character and integrity.  Think back to people in your life that helped shape who you are today.  Remember the lessons you learned, and bring them forward into today, and continue to live the way your “coach” taught you.  (If you didn’t have a person like that in your life, feel free to borrow from my experiences in these paragraphs.)

Leading a life of integrity, doing the right thing every time, not just when it is convenient, will be a life changing philosophy for you.  I guarantee it!

Have a great day!

The other day I was waiting in line at Starbucks, and the gentleman in front of me ordered a Venti (large) Latte.

While I was waiting for my drink, the man in front of me received his Grande (medium) Latte, from the Barista (guy that makes the drinks).  This customer stares at his drink for what seemed like 30 seconds, then he looks up and stares at the Barista.  Then he stares back at his drink for a prolonged period of time.

Finally, the guy, with a not too happy look on his face, turns and leaves.  Why didn’t he tell the Barista that the incorrect drink was prepared?  This guy was clearly upset by receiving the wrong drink.

All this guy had to do was speak up!  “Excuse me sir, you made the incorrect size drink for me, I ordered and paid for a Venti.”  That was all this unsatisfied customer had to do to become a satisfied customer.  Starbucks works hard to please their customers, but they’re not mind readers.

Now, this guy went off into his day, dissatisfied.  How many times have we been dissatisfied by what someone has done to us, or said to us, or not done or said to us?

Save yourself some heartache and irritation, and speak up!  The sooner you incorporate the ability to speak up into your communication tool bag, the sooner you will be able to eliminate unnecessary irritations and frustrations!

Have a great Day!

This term is used when you agree with what someone is sharing with you and like what you hear.  One caveat, just because the CoolAid (advice giver’s message) looks good, and smells good, think thru who mixed the ingredients.  Do they know what they are talking about?  Do they have your best interest in mind, or are they looking to further their own agenda?

One way to tell if the CoolAid preparers are legitimate is to look into their background.  Do these people do what they say?  Do they appear to be living out what they are recommending for you?

For example, I have been approached by dozens of random strangers over the years looking to recruit me into a network marketing, pyramid scheme (I must have this look on my face that says, I’m gullible?  I’ll have to work on my indifferent, grimacing expressions, when in public.  Just kidding!).  Here is a recent example to make my point:

As I was drinking a coffee one afternoon making some notes and preparing for my next appointment, I was approached by one of these network marketers.  He asks me if I’m studying?  Then he asks me what I do?  Then he launches into his sales pitch and tells me how he has worked with many salespeople and what a different breed, salespeople are etc., etc,…  I politely excused myself, then left the coffee shop.

What this guy was missing was credibility.  I saw him get out of his beat up, mid-90’s model, compact car.  If someone is going to recruit another person to work for them, the recruiter better present success and accomplishment, themselves, before they can have any chance of trying to motivate another person to work for them.

Just something to think about before you drink the CoolAid…

Have a great Day!