Be Great Today!

I have had the good fortune to have been mentored by Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz, Dell’s founder Michael Dell, Virgin’s CEO Richard Branson, creator of such hits as Survivor and The Apprentice’s Mark Burnett, actor Sylvester Stallone, Wendy’s restaurant founder Dave Thomas, billionaire investor Warren Buffett and literally hundreds of other famous, successful, and wealthy individuals.  How can an average guy like me from suburban Detroit gain access to all of this world-class talent?

 The answer to that question is thru the books that they have written.  All of these individuals and for that matter, individuals in every field, industry, and nation have shared their secrets to success in print for hundreds of years.  The answers to any question that you may have are in print at your local Barnes & Noble, Border’s Books, or online at Amazon.com just waiting for you to dive in and scoop up the treasures from page after page of answers to how these people overcame seemingly insurmountable odds to rise to the top of their respective fields.

 Further, you have people in your life: parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, neighbors, bosses, and friends who are achieving every day what you want.  Understand that not everyone in life is going to understand your hopes and dreams.  We all have different opinions and view the world from a slightly different lense.  It can be hard to understand sometimes why loved ones or people you admire have a different view from you when it comes to your dreams.  Just remember that your dreams are just that, “yours” and belong to no one else. 

 If you are operating from a base of integrity and life is giving you signs that whatever you may be striving for is a good thing, then by all means, forge on, and stick to your path.  Realize that some or all of the people listed above may not want to see you succeed because of their own insecurities or competitive nature to always have to be on top.  Just keep pushing on.

Dream Big!

What mentors must have in order to help you:

1. Have your best interest in mind. The mentors that you select must have your best interest in mind.  This may seem obvious but is not always the case.  Your mentors must truly value you as a person and want you to succeed.  Your mentors must want to give you wings that let you fly free on your own terms in your own time frame.

2. Not have an alternate motive for self gain, at your expense.  You must have a win-win relationship where you both gain.  Your mentor must not provide conditional assistance which would limit your growth to not surpass the mentor’s abilities.  Your mentor should want you to be the best you can possibly be and want you to surpass their capabilities and accomplishments.

3. Have already achieved or helped others achieve what you desire.  Your mentor must be a person that is either living what you want to live, lived what you desire to live, or coached others successfully on how to live the way that you want to live.  A mentor who hasn’t walked in the shoes that you desire to walk in or helped others achieve their dreams will not be able to get you where you want to go.

4. Exhibit integrity in all of their actions in life.  If your mentor only does what is right, when it is convenient, then you will learn other shortcuts that could lead to a dead end, and other problems, instead of true happiness and success.

5. Be honest with you about both your strengths and weaknesses.  If your mentor only tells you what you want to hear instead of what you “need” to hear, then the mentor will not be doing you any favors.  A good example of this was an episode of the reality show, So You Think You Can Dance?  One of the contestants brought his mother, who said he was great.  Was he really great?  Mom convinced this guy that he was great, and the supposed dancer said as much to America.  When it was time for this contestant to strut his stuff, it was evident that he had never danced in public, ever.  Forget the fact that he had never had any formal dance training, he had no rhythm or skill whatsoever.

When you are fortunate enough to have a mentor or role model in your life, whether it’s for a short time (in the form of a boss or coach), or for your whole life (in the form of parents or a spouse), the key is to respect that person and have an open mind, heart, and spirit.

Live, Learn and Pass it On!

Do you want more out of this life of yours?  As far as I see it, you have 2 choices, (1) be the example yourself by leading, or (2) follow a great example.

First, who to follow?  A person, movement, or organization that would be a great example to follow is any that makes the world a better place by being here.  This doesn’t have to be anyone or anything that is big and splashy, just one that follows the Golden Rule… “Do onto others as you’d want done onto yourself.”

An example of this is the late, great Mother Teresa.  Mother Teresa’s name is synonymous with lover, generosity, giving, caring for the less fortunate, dignity, and hope.  But, I bet you weren’t aware of this information. 

In studying Mother Teresa’s life, after her passing, if the world wasn’t aware of the inspirational influence that she provided, you would not draw the same conclusion.  Journal entries speak of uncertainty, despair, and darkness.  Each morning, those feelings were pushed aside as Mother Teresa rose to care for the sick, hungry, and poor of Calcutta, India.  This daily action resulted in a mission that lives on after Mother Teresa’s death.

When Mother Teresa’s, Missionaries of Charity was passed onto her successor in 1997, the society had nearly 4,000 sisters, 300 brothers and more than 100,000 lay volunteers who oversaw 610 houses in 123 countries.  Overcoming daily uncertainty, despair, and darkness can have some truly amazing, blessed results.  Mother Teresa of Calcutta is truly one of the greatest examples to follow!

Now, how to lead!  You don’t have to be or become rich from a monetary standpoint to be a great leader.  You simply have to put good into the world, take action, one day at a time.  How do you do that?

1.     Smile at fellow humans as you pass them throughout your day!

2.     Offer warm greetings or well wishes to loved ones and strangers alike!

3.     When you’re talking with others genuinely listen and be in the moment!

4.     Take time to notice nature and give thanks for its beauty!

5.     Phone a friend, just to say “hi!”

Note: there is a common thread in the 5 options above.  They are all free!  No money needed. 

Share and give freely and you will receive so much more in return than you could have ever imagined.  Guaranteed.  Mother Teresa didn’t have it easy, and she didn’t have an agenda, other than giving God’s love to God’s children, each moment of each day of her life.  What a blessed life and what a beautiful, lasting legacy!

Great results are guaranteed for you, whether you approach the day and your life as a leader or follower.

Pay It Forward!

… to happiness, fulfillment, making a difference, finding and following your passions and purpose, or… to being completely and utterly miserable?

My wife had to make a stop at the grocery and office supply store the other day.  A little background on my wife:  Sherri has a huge heart and is an active optimist.  What I mean by that is that Sherri chooses to be optimistic each day and makes the extra effort to be polite and cheery with people she encounters throughout her day.

So, Sherri is at the checkout line at each stop and greets each cashier with her brilliant smile and genuine inquiry as to how each individual was doing!  The response was less than reciprocal.  Each cashier made minimal eye contact, mumbled something that was inaudible in response to Sherri’s well-wishes.  These two individuals were committed to being miserable. 

Here are 3 keys to overcoming negative influences and encounters in your life:

1.     Give a smile and a calm, reassuring “Good Day!” well wishes!  The reason for this is that you never know what another person is going thru.  These unhappy souls may be going thru a family or personal crisis or could be dealing with the loss of a loved one, or some other genuine problem or concern, causing their frown or sour attitude.  You just never know what is going on in someone’s life.

2.     Focus on your blessings that life has bestowed upon you, and live in a state of gratitude.  We can’t control how other people act or feel, but we surely can control how we look at and approach the world and this God-given day!

3.     If options 1 and 2 aren’t working, then simply stay away from these people!  At least minimize your contact with the naysayers, if you have to interact with them (i.e. co-workers, family, neighbors, etc.)  If someone is committed to being miserable, guess what… they will surely achieve their objective.  Life is too short to make it your cause to try to turn the committed miserable ones around. 

So, there you have it, three ways to deal with negative people that are inevitably going to be presented to you and me each and every day.   So, please remember to focus on your blessings, live with an attitude of gratitude, stay committed to your course, and …

Have a Great Day!

Can I trust you?  Can you trust me?  Do you trust in yourself and your future?  Stick with me for a few minutes, and allow me to explain how you can quickly and easily gain in the trust of those around… trust in yourself, as well as, become a metal detector of trust.  What I mean by that is you will be able to pick out a trustworthy person and/or organization as quick as a metal detector beeps upon detecting a metal object buried comfortably below the sand on your favorite beach!

            Wikipedia defines trust as, “A relationship of reliance… a prediction of reliance on an action, based on what a party knows about the other party”.  Therefore, by definition, the only way that you can be trusted or give trust is thru repeated exposure or time spent with other people.

How to become a trustworthy person:

            Commit to do the right thing in every area of your life, not just sometimes, but all the time.  Do the right thing when people are watching, and more importantly, do the right thing when people are not watching.

How to be able to identify trustworthy people:

            Very simply, trust is earned over time.  People have reputations for a reason, because over time, they have demonstrated certain qualities.  People with questionable reputations should be viewed thru very objective lenses looking for signs to either back up or refute any prior opinions and reputations.  If people are open and easy to understand, that is a good sign.  If people are a series of unanswered questions, contradictions, and difficult to understand, then beware.

How to trust yourself:

            Let’s start out by saying that a lack of trust in yourself shows a lack of faith.  I believe that God made each of us, and God has faith in us.  Mother Angelica, the founder of Our Lady of the Angel’s Monastery shares in her book, “… constant worry, depression, anxiety, frustration, thinking ‘Nothing’s going to change’ – that is a total, total lack of trust… If you don’t have trust in your life, you have little love, because trust comes from love”.

            Therefore, the best way to trust is to start loving yourself.  Believe in yourself, and daily remind yourself by proclaiming your noble values, strengths, and contributions that you work to give to the world.

            When people prove to be untrustworthy and difficult to understand, they are quickly disregarded.  People who constantly strive to earn the trust and confidence of others, also gain the trust of themselves.  The net result is a life of happiness, love, and meaning! 

 Trustfully Yours!

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage

Over another as to remain always cool and

Unruffled under all circumstances.”

                                                      - Thomas Jefferson

The above quote can be taken as a strategy to overcome an enemy just as much as it can apply to keeping a marriage or a friendship strong.  We need to realize that getting worked up, upset, fired up, or mad at someone, something, or a particular situation is very unproductive and, most of all, damaging to you.  What do I mean?

By losing your cool, you are giving up your personal control.  By getting upset, you are allowing another person or situation control you.  Who in their right mind wants to be controlled?  For example, let’s say you have a controlling or manipulative boss.  If you can stay calm when he or she starts losing control and directing anger at you, the result of your calm behavior will be an emotional victory for you.

There is a fringe benefit to staying calm when others are losing their cool either at or around you.  If you have a friend/boss, or co-worker whose goal is to attack you and make you feel bad, and you respond with a calm, even tempered persona, it will make the attacker look and/or feel very uncomfortable.

Not that you want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or bad, but if you do make someone feel uncomfortable as a result of lashing out at you, they will be less inclined to lash out at you in the future.  Reason for that is, no one intentionally makes themselves feel bad.  We all want to feel good.

Everyone wants to be respected.  Times of trial and tribulation reveal an individual’s character.  When things get tough and you stay calm, that will earn you respect.

Being cool = Being in Control = Respect from peers! 

You see, being cool provides multiple benefits not only to yourself but to the world around you!

Be Cool and Have a Great Day!

Everyone would agree that the ability to communicate is one of the best ways to have a successful, harmonious, peaceful, fulfilled life. 

Did you ever think about… why is the divorce rate so high in our country?  Why is there no confidence in our economy?  Why don’t people trust their employers or each other?

The answer is that people can’t seem to figure out how to communicate.  The simple answer is to put yourself in the shoes of whomever you are attempting to communicate with and ask yourself, “What would I want to know in order to be able to (understand, feel, believe, etc…) what I’m trying to communicate?”  For example…  in my selling career, I have been able to be a top producer at my company because I’m constantly putting myself in my customers shoes and thinking from their point of view.

What I mean is that when I identify a customer that is interested in making a purchase, I take the time to ask the questions necessary to best understand what the customer’s situation is, what they need, why they need it, and when.  Once I have this information, only then can a solution be presented that strikes the chords in my customer’s decision making process to say “yes” to my solutions.  This approach also works perfectly in relationships with loved ones.

Now the “to a point” part… if you have spent days, months, years, and repeated attempts to communicate a message to another person whom you care about and the other party isn’t responding, then they just might not get it, or don’t want to get it.  What I mean is that with some people, they either don’t have the ability or desire to understand what you are trying to share.  So in those cases, it’s best to either move on or limit your contact with that person or party.    

Do the best that you possibly can to understand others, to put yourself in another person’s shoes, then and only then, share your thoughts, ideas, and plans!  If you do this, then when your head hits the pillow each night, you can rest easy knowing that you did all you could to communicate.

 Have a great day!

My 7 year old daughter, Megan, made this brilliant statement this spring as the answer to her fears of doing a reverse summersault on the bar in gym class.  My brilliant little girl instinctually figured out all by herself what most people never realize their entire life.  Megan does wear Nike’s, but I know that she isn’t aware of Nike’s “Just Do It” ad campaign that has been popularized since before she was born. 

Why don’t we all “Just Do It” when it comes to something we are unsure of.  The obvious answer is… FEAR.

If we would just spend the time required to learn whatever we need to learn in order to get whatever we want to get, we could then just go after IT (whatever “IT” is for you) without FEAR.  The end result… we would all be happier, healthier, and have more peace of mind and success.

So, I for one, am going to take Megan’s sage advice and keep on “Just Doing It!”

Peace!

How often do you find yourself asking others what to do when you know the answer already?  Maybe, you don’t like what you know needs to be done and feel it’s easier to ask others in hopes that someone will give you another option which will allow you to not do what you know needs to be done.

You need to step up to the plate, and use your head.  Think!  Listen to your gut!  That feeling in your belly will guide you along your path and help you make the right choices.

Still having trouble deciding?  Grab a pen and paper.  Write down the issue at the top of the page, and put a line down the middle.  On the left hand column write the pro’s of the issue and on the right hand column write the con’s.  Now that you have the issue from all angles written down, leave it alone for awhile.  Come back throughout the day, and review.

If you need to solicit advice, do so after you have already done the above.  You will have more perspective, be able to ask more intelligent questions, and most importantly, be able to make a more intelligent decision!

Now you’re ready to make things happen! 

 Have a great day!

The legend of Pandora from ancient Greece offers an amazing lesson for us still today.  As the story goes, Pandora was given a mysterious box by gods jealous of her beauty.  Pandora was told that she must never open the gift.  What do you think she proceeded to do?  You guessed it… she opened it!

 What Pandora released when she opened the box was some really negative things: disease, greed, vanity, envy, pining, and madness (these vices aren’t on the top of my list of wants).  Pandora was able to shut the box just in time to preserve the antidote that provides meaning to people’s lives… hope.

 Hope, modern researchers are finding, provides a suprisingly powerful role in life.  I can’t believe that it took these researchers this long to figure that out.  Hope keeps you strong!  Hope gives you a reason to believe!  When you have hope, you have faith (belief in the unknown)!

 Live with an expectation of good things to come into your life today and in the future.  Dream big dreams, then put the plans into place to make your dreams reality.  This all begins with hope, the foundation of faith.  The key is to do this one day at a time.  If you live with hope and faith each day, you will live a happy life!

Have a great day!